God in the little things

Lately I've really been trying to do things right and to stay on the straight and narrow, and realising how easy it is when you just don't kick against the pricks and just do what's you're supposed to do, and vice versa. It's so easy when you're just obedient.

Seriously, what makes the walk tough sometimes is the fact that we want to act against what we know to be right, and this is what causes some of our struggles and dilemmas.

True, we can have a crisis of conscience when we genuinely don't know which way to turn, but when we actually do know right and wrong, and hesitate in making the right choice for whatever, we can feel in turmoil because it can be a case of our flesh wanting to rebel against the truth of the matter.

Learning to ignore what the flesh has to say and committing to the way of truth and righteousness can be tough, but amazingly once you do actually make up your mind to commit to it, it's actually easier to do the right thing. It becomes like second nature to choose the right thing and to ignore the diversions.

I'm conscious of the fact that maybe I'm having an easy ride right now and I maybe next week there'll be something I'll struggle with - very true. But that's just the way it goes. Whether I struggle for the next month or so, I can wipe my slate clean and try again till I get it right, and as long as I am willing to persevere, it's all good.

Another thing I notice is that not only does it get easier to do the right thing, but also, when your heart is committed to doing the right thing, God steps in and helps you out in the places where you might fall.

For example in the past couple of days, there was a situation where I was supposed to meet an acquaintance at a venue to basically celebrate something or other and socialise (sorry I sound so vague but anyway.....). Anyway, we had both kind of committed to meeting, especially as neither of us knew anybody at the venue. Anyway, this person then has a change of plan whereby we would have to meet later, when the venue actually turned into a club.

Ha!

So there I was thinking oh no!! No I can not be in no club situation, and especially not after I've been writing on here about how Christians should not be in a club. I didnt know what to do - well I did but I felt like I could not cancel on this person and let them down especially as they had really been looking forward to it. And then not only that but to be honest I do find this person attractive in way....and all kinds of thoughts and images started coming to me like how great I would look all dressed up and how he might be impressed etc etc....yes I know stupid airheaded silly thoughts but they did come, but was it even me because actually the overriding thoughts and feelings were that I did not want to go and I did not care what he thought because I was more concerned about doing the right thing and setting a good example of Christian behaviour, conduct and dress for him, and more than anything my heart was grieved! It was a surprising but very welcoming and reassuring feeling because more than anything I did not want to dishonour, disobey and displease God. Even so I found myself saying I would go in jeans and stay for a very short time and then leave so I wouldn't have let him down (what??!!! :-( Yes I know.......)

Now, I'm not saying that usually when I kick against the pricks and sort of do little things I shouldn't to please myself and just kind of wheedle and quickly turn my shoulder to the guilt, that I don't care. I do but sometimes when you're just in your heart wanting to do something you know you shouldn't somehow you just kind of choose to ignore your conscience, or the Holy Spirit's counsel.

But I felt grieved! I felt like there was no way I could, I felt like I was cheating in God's face. Really I felt so awful and even as I was in the shower I was just really really dejected and feeling very sorry and rubbish but still hoping for a way out.

Anyway, I get out of the shower and I'm drying myself in daze and literally about 1 second later the phone rings and it's my friend calling with a change of plan, arranging to meet at somewhere else with friends of his (in my head - "YES!!!", and what's more, no temptation factor with the other friends etc.)

I tell you I was so over the moon it was like night and day, I was so happy! But then I also had a reminder that I had potentially made a wrong decision, and in hindsight (even though it was only looking back to 5 minutes earlier), I knew I could have boldly made another one, an alternative one. But I didn't feel condemned strangely. It was like I had been taught a lesson, and that it was ok. God had bailed me out, and I knew that He is and was there watching over my situation.

Now, someone's gonna go "Yeah whatever that was just a coincidence." Well, whatever coincidences are I certainly gained something from the situation.

Another example, two days later God stepped into another situation. Well, it wasn't a situation or dilemma as such, but basically, it involved a situation whereby a friend of mine was going to give me a free short term gym membership they had in their name, but it would have involved me using their pass which clearly had a name on that wasn't mine because not only am I not male I am not from the Asian sub-continent.

We both knew it was dodgy but my friend was trying to do me a good turn and I like free stuff and cannot be bothered to pay for the gym.

Anyway, I knew it wasn't right and would involve me lying in some kinda way, especially if the gym staff stopped to look in my face and ask me what was up, and decided I wouldn't use the pass.

Anyway, blessing of blessings, wouldn't you know that the very same day circumstances transpire which culminate in me being offered such a pass legitimately. Circumstantial and coincidental? Maybe. But I tell you it just goes to show that you don't have to go the way of the jackal to get what you need, or what you simply wouldn't mind having.

Can I get a amen?